These past few weeks I have been really concentrating on getting myself healthy inside and out. I really have been feeling great. Yes, my grief and anger is still there but is getting smaller everyday. I did my second unsent letter. It took me longer then the first because I have been feeling so good that I just didn't want to go there. But I knew that if I really wanted to move on that I had to.
Three weeks ago I added a 2.2 mile hike daily with my beagle. I have been faithful about going to Curves. Because I want to get my hike out of the way before it gets to hot it is giving me a reason not to want to sleep my morning away. I have also been better with my diet. I have been trying to lose the 40 PCOS pounds I gained in 3 months for about two years. After my first and second losses I just did not give a damn and gave up on eating well and exercising. After this loss I fell into that habit for the time I was supposed to rest after but did not let myself do it any longer then that. I really feel keeping this up has helped me stay out of a funk.
Therapy is hard but going well. I am trying to be more positive and am working on my fear of pregnancy before we start trying again. Before I have never let myself think past a day when I was pregnant. I am trying to see myself pregnant in the future more then just a few weeks without the fear that usually goes with that.
I have also decided not to put my life on hold anymore. K is going to take two of his nieces (22 and 19) to China at the end of Sept. I wasn't going to go because I had a horrible time adjusting to the time last time and I wanted to start trying again this cycle. However, I am not ready to try yet so I am going. That week in China would be testing week anyway and I don't want to be in China with a BFN or a BFP. So I am going instead of staying home alone. Travel all I can while I can. I just know right now that 2009 will have a baby in it.
So that is my plan keep working on my weight, go to China then in October if I feel like it we will try again.
#Microblog Monday 489: Words or Pictures
5 hours ago
1 comment:
Miah, I know all you are doing can't be easy, but you are doing it!! You are taking all the right steps to keep yourself healthy both physically and mentally. What a great accomplishment.
Enjoy your trip to China and keep up the great work with everything else. I think your 2009 will be one of your best years yet. (:
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