Sorry MIA

Sorry I have been missing. Since we were not TTC I just wanted a break from it all. These past few months have been great. The only time my infertility hurts is when I am around children for a period of time. I don't notice it in stores anymore. Although I still avoid certain areas and certain times of the day. I don't really cry about it anymore nor am I angry. I believe it is something that one day somehow I will come to understand and be a better person for it. Whether I become a parent or not.

These past few months I have really been working on my health. Both emotionally and physically. I have lost a total of 54 pounds and 37 inches. I have 14 more to go! I will post a pic. when I am at a computer I can scan at. I exercise on a regular basis and am eating very balanced meals. I am tracking and weighing my foods to keep me in check for now. I am getting more used to portions and how much is enough or not enough. Some days I ate a lot some days not enough. That has changed. No longer skipping meals and no longer wanting to. Hopefully soon I will be down to tracking once a week just to keep myself in check. This has had a very positive effect on my self image and thankfully my migraines! I am down to maybe one a month. Amazing and hope it is not just a fluke.

As for TTC. We are going to do IVF with pre genetic determination starting in July. It was a hard decision. In the end we decided if we didn't give it a try we will always question it. I do worry about not having any normal embryos. My RE does not feel this would be the case. I did another clomid challenge and saline sono. My RE and nurse were shocked that I had 10 follicules on each ovary. Of course not all would turn into eggs but this was good news because I won't have to take as much medication. I can thank my weight loss for that.

To keep me occupied in the meantime and during the IVF we are remodeling our kitchen and living room. Hopefully it won't be too stressful. I hope that by doing it while doing IVF will help keep me from obsessing over the IVF. I will post before and after pics.

I am sorry not to have kept in touch and plan on being a better blogger and friend.